Being a mother takes a lot out of you. Especially if you're a working mother. Taking time out for yourself after everything you need to get accomplished can seem almost impossible. So when you start to get stressed out, its a wonder how you'll get a moment to calm down and cool out. Being a single mother who has no one to share any of my many tasks with, I have got to find ways to relax or I will have some sort of mental meltdown.
I'm too pretty for a meldown.
So I wanted to share with you a few ways I like to cut stress out of my life or move my focus around so that I'm not only thinking of all the ways that I'm overwhelmed, over worked, underappreciated and underpaid.
Amazing how more work actually leads to less stress for me. This is by far my favorite way to calm myself down. In fact I could litterally be at work thinking to myself, "I am so friggin aggrivated right now, the bathroom is so gonna get it when I get home." The last think I like to have when I'm stressed is a dirty home. When I get home and decide to take on a cleaning project, I go so "hard in the paint" that I end up sweating, I'm tried, and cleaning the bathroom has turned into cleaning my son's room, organizing his toys, re-arranging my living room, spot cleaning the kitchen floors, and wiping all the walls down with bleach and water. Point is, its just like if you were to hit the gym. You get your blood flowing, calories burning, mind totally focused on scrubbing instead of all the bills, the job, the school projects, the brake fluid thats leaking in your car, or the cost of your now sick pet's vet visit because they decided they wanted to chase a squirel into some questionable bushes and came back with some sort of rash. It may seem like more work, but when you're finished, you're too tired to think about anything but a shower, dinner, and your head hitting the pillow. On top of all of that, you feel a sense of accomplishment, pride in your work, and your house looks and smells gorgeous.
This one sounds reeeeally simple. It may be hard to sit down and start reading when you have so much to do or worry about, but I encourage you to take an hour before bedtime to read a brand new book. Preferably some sort of fiction that totally takes your mind away from reality to a place of imagination. When you're reading you have a moment to shut out everything you're thinking about, because of course you're too busy filling your mind with stories of a fictional character and their drama or problems. A good start would be Agnes and The Hitman by Jenny Crusie and Bob Mayer.
3. Get Yourself a Treat.
I know most of us are broke, and the $5 extra dollars you might have left over after all of your expenses seems like something you should spend on one of your children or gas in your vehicle. However sometimes it is important for us to reserve some things for ourselves. We need to learn to be selfish. If you stop and buy yourself an ice cream cone at Cold Stone your child isnt at school falling to the floor, crushed by disappointment, doomed to drop out of high school and become a plumber because you failed him emotionally by purchasing yourself something without his knowledge. When you have children, your life does change. It does become about your kids. But if you lose yourself, you wont be able to give your children the type of love and attention they desereve because you will be unhappy.
4. Give Yourself a Shopping Goal.
Try to put aside a few dollars each week for yourself. At the end of the month buy yourself either a pair of new shoes, a purse, or an article of clothing. Something to reward yourself for kicking ass all month. We reward our kids for doing good, being behaved, getting good grades. They get stars for being helpful in class. We deserve a reward ourselves. Setting a personal goal to do something nice for yourself, just like #3, will make everything you're doing seem a lot less overwhelming. Or that you're doing it with a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow after the storm called "the work week." Knowing you have something to look forward to instead of the same shit month after month after month.
5. Cut Out Caffine.
I'm sure we all like our coffee or tea or energy drinks to get us through our morning. Unfortunately all caffine does is make us even more irritable and snappy. It can cause bouts of anxiety and a crash in the middle of your day that can really screw up your mood. Lets face it, our mood really depends on positive thinking, and with caffine bogging you down and making you a misserable human being. I'm not saying never touch it, I'm saying stay away from it unless you're in a fantastic mood that can't be brought down by a caffine crash.
Remember, you need to be selfish sometimes!
I'm too pretty for a meldown.
So I wanted to share with you a few ways I like to cut stress out of my life or move my focus around so that I'm not only thinking of all the ways that I'm overwhelmed, over worked, underappreciated and underpaid.
1. Clean my house.
Amazing how more work actually leads to less stress for me. This is by far my favorite way to calm myself down. In fact I could litterally be at work thinking to myself, "I am so friggin aggrivated right now, the bathroom is so gonna get it when I get home." The last think I like to have when I'm stressed is a dirty home. When I get home and decide to take on a cleaning project, I go so "hard in the paint" that I end up sweating, I'm tried, and cleaning the bathroom has turned into cleaning my son's room, organizing his toys, re-arranging my living room, spot cleaning the kitchen floors, and wiping all the walls down with bleach and water. Point is, its just like if you were to hit the gym. You get your blood flowing, calories burning, mind totally focused on scrubbing instead of all the bills, the job, the school projects, the brake fluid thats leaking in your car, or the cost of your now sick pet's vet visit because they decided they wanted to chase a squirel into some questionable bushes and came back with some sort of rash. It may seem like more work, but when you're finished, you're too tired to think about anything but a shower, dinner, and your head hitting the pillow. On top of all of that, you feel a sense of accomplishment, pride in your work, and your house looks and smells gorgeous.
2. Read a Book.
This one sounds reeeeally simple. It may be hard to sit down and start reading when you have so much to do or worry about, but I encourage you to take an hour before bedtime to read a brand new book. Preferably some sort of fiction that totally takes your mind away from reality to a place of imagination. When you're reading you have a moment to shut out everything you're thinking about, because of course you're too busy filling your mind with stories of a fictional character and their drama or problems. A good start would be Agnes and The Hitman by Jenny Crusie and Bob Mayer.
3. Get Yourself a Treat.
I know most of us are broke, and the $5 extra dollars you might have left over after all of your expenses seems like something you should spend on one of your children or gas in your vehicle. However sometimes it is important for us to reserve some things for ourselves. We need to learn to be selfish. If you stop and buy yourself an ice cream cone at Cold Stone your child isnt at school falling to the floor, crushed by disappointment, doomed to drop out of high school and become a plumber because you failed him emotionally by purchasing yourself something without his knowledge. When you have children, your life does change. It does become about your kids. But if you lose yourself, you wont be able to give your children the type of love and attention they desereve because you will be unhappy.
4. Give Yourself a Shopping Goal.
Try to put aside a few dollars each week for yourself. At the end of the month buy yourself either a pair of new shoes, a purse, or an article of clothing. Something to reward yourself for kicking ass all month. We reward our kids for doing good, being behaved, getting good grades. They get stars for being helpful in class. We deserve a reward ourselves. Setting a personal goal to do something nice for yourself, just like #3, will make everything you're doing seem a lot less overwhelming. Or that you're doing it with a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow after the storm called "the work week." Knowing you have something to look forward to instead of the same shit month after month after month.
5. Cut Out Caffine.
I'm sure we all like our coffee or tea or energy drinks to get us through our morning. Unfortunately all caffine does is make us even more irritable and snappy. It can cause bouts of anxiety and a crash in the middle of your day that can really screw up your mood. Lets face it, our mood really depends on positive thinking, and with caffine bogging you down and making you a misserable human being. I'm not saying never touch it, I'm saying stay away from it unless you're in a fantastic mood that can't be brought down by a caffine crash.
Remember, you need to be selfish sometimes!
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